i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
