I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
