take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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