The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
