your room smells of hookers.
And success
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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