Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
