We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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