Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
