Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize