I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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