I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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