would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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