ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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