i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize