my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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