she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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