Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
