i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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