After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
