she is the kim kardashian of front butts
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
