Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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