we're blogging at a bar
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
