"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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