White coat. Heels.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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