whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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