I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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