Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
