I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
