Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
