ya dads aren't the best wingmen
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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