I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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