I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If I die, sorry about rent.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
