I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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