I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
