Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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