I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
