the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
