Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
