i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
