Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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