Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
