I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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