remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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