see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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