I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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