bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
