You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
