at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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