Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
