i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
