brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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