I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
It was confusing and full of hummus
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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