First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
So many bounce houses so little time
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
