You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
