I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize