i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Couch. On fire.
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