God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
