quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I have aggressive nipples.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
