Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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