I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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