Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
