Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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