If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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