I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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