i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
