There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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